President Trump to Create New TV Network for Victims of Cancel Culture

The 45th president of the United States will be returning to television, but this time he'll be working behind-the-scenes. That's right, Donald Trump will be creating his own TV network that will serve as a safe space for actors and actresses who have been canceled by the dangerous mob of Twitter users. Everyone in Hollywood who has had their livelihood stripped away by the woke mob will return to the small screen. Trump TV will officially debut in 95% of markets on September 31, 2021. CNN has described the move as "white-supremacist fueled terrorism" while Fox News has lauded it as a "heroic act of patriotism". In response to CNN's claims that the television network is a racist hotbed for white nationalists, Trump has opted to add embattled comedian Bill Cosby to the roster. Below is a list of programs that the network will be offering this fall!

Cosby Calls - Premieres 9/31/21

Bill Cosby is returning to television! In the interactive reality-series "Cosby Calls", viewers will be able to call the canceled comedian straight from his prison cell. Other portions of the program will include never-before-seen security camera footage of Cosby in jail. Viewers will get to ask about his illustrious career in film and TV but will be removed from the series if they make any reference to what got him in prison. As you may recall, the sitcom star was charged with three counts of indecent assault in 2018. If the show turns out to be a hit in the ratings, Trump intends to greenlight the spinoff series "Weinstein Calls". 

Al Frankenfurter - Premieres 9/31/21

In a stunning move of bipartisanship, President Trump has allowed former Democrat senator Al Franken to host his own show on the Trump network. The two have a little more in common than most as both Franken and Trump got their start in the entertainment business before segueing into politics. Franken was canceled in 2017 following sexual misconduct allegations. "Al Frankfurter" is a cooking-competition series where contestants will seek to cook the best frankfurters they can. Franken will serve as the judge and host of the series. The cook who is last left standing will receive an honorary culinary degree, courtesy of Trump University. Many hot dogs were harmed in the making of this program. 

Groundhog Day: The Series - Premieres 10/32/21

The classic 1993 Bill Murray movie is getting a modern-day reboot, morphing into a sitcom starring Michael Richards. In Groundhog Day: The Series, the 'Seinfeld' star will continuously relive the day that he went on his racist tirade at the Laugh Factory. The FCC is outraged by this move and is set to sue the network, Trump, and Richards. None of the parties are backing down and the sitcom will hit the airwaves on October 32nd. 

Trump TV Kid's Corner

Looking for something more family-friendly? Trump TV is also offering up an assortment of children's programming. Here are just a few of the many titles!

Can't Cancel The Cat - Premieres 11/31/21

The Cat and the Hat and friends are returning to the small screen. 'Can't Cancel the Cat' will feature the embattled feline star reading all of Seuss's banned books. The character will encourage children to fight back against the dangers of cancel culture and suppression of free speech. President Trump himself is set to be the voice of the titular Cat. 

Pepe Le Pew Pew - Premieres 11/31/21

Pepe Le Pew is back in a big way! After being canceled from the upcoming Looney Tunes film 'Space Jam 2', Pew has been given his very own series. 'Pepe Le Pew Pew' will feature everyone's favorite skunk rebranding himself into an NRA activist. Pew will teach kids about the right to bear arms and ask them to make a generous donate to the National Rifle Association at the end of every episode. That's all, folks!

Last Morning Today with MR. Potato Head - Premieres 11/31/21

Mr. Potato Head wants you to know that he's STILL a man! Everyone's favorite male potato will be getting his own kid-friendly talk show. The first episode will feature guests Roseanne Barr, Gina Carano, and Matt Gaetz. President Trump will be voicing the vegetable icon, taking over for the late Don Rickles. 

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